Giving Something Back

We've noticed recently a disproportionately high number of comments (1) reflecting on perecived negativity in some of the posts on The Blog of Alan. In order to redress this and to give something back to our loyal blogiers, there follows Part One in our semi regular, partially flaccid Top Ten Tips for thriving in the once wonderfully wacky world of advertising ...

HOW TO GET A HEAD IN ADVERTISING

1.Inveigle your way onto the agency wig account.

(That's a lot of wig for just $7.95!)

2.Rehash old chestnuts for analgesic or sinus commercial.


3.Use phrenology as a core element in all layouts regardless of product.


4.Insist on your bonus being paid in cabbage or lettuce vouchers.


5.Cast only ex-Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer-now-working-on-Little-Britain actors for all commercial and voiceover work.


6.Buy a “Realistic lifelike silicone doll mannequin head” on eBay.


7.Get a colleague to help you re-enact your favourite Sweeney Todd scene using the agency guillotine (Top Tip: make sure you’re playing the Demon Barber role).


8.Get creative with a balloon, strips of newspaper, pva glue and some Pentels (if you don’t know what they are, use Sharpies instead)


9.Go fiddle with your secondlife avatar (it’s not a sin if you don’t take pleasure in it.)


10.Choose your own tsantsas from Doc Bwana's House of Shrunken Heads website (google it yourself, I feel dirty just researching it).



NEXT TIME: HOW TO GET HOW TO GET AHEAD IN ADVERTISING